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HOW TO SET YOUR OWN GOALS
People often think that goals need to be big life-changing achievements, such as buying a bigger house, moving jobs, starting a business, losing a lot of weight, running a marathon, or creating a life that feels truly yours.
These ambitions can feel both exciting and overwhelming, with the gap between where you are now and where you want to be feeling a long way off, leaving you unsure where or how to start.
Whilst all of these things can be your chosen goals at some point in your life, or a milestone goal, setting smaller goals along the way can be just as rewarding.
By setting smaller goals, you not only get to celebrate more often when you achieve them, they are also more likely to be achievable in the first place, or at least within a shorter timeframe, which can help you stay hopeful of achieving the bigger goals too.
In this post, we’ll explore how to set meaningful goals that feel manageable, keep you focused, and bring you closer to where you want to be.
WHY SET GOALS
One of the most important reasons to set goals is that they create outcomes from your ideas. Saying, ‘I want to get fit’ or ‘I’d love to start a business’ is a great starting point, but these ideas alone don’t help you get where you want to be.
Goals break down these ideas into more specific aims, like running three times a week or researching how to start a business. When you know what you’re working towards, it’s much easier to make consistent progress.
Goals also keep you motivated. Each time you set and achieve a goal – no matter how small – it builds a sense of accomplishment and encourages you to keep going.
Celebrating these small wins not only boosts your confidence but also reinforces the belief that you’re capable of accomplishing the bigger things you want to achieve.
Another reason goal setting is so important is that it helps you prioritise. Life can be busy, and it’s easy to get caught up in distractions or waste time on things that don’t really matter to you.
Having clear goals acts as a to-do list, allowing you to focus your time and energy on the activities that align with where you want your life to be.
WHEN IS A GOOD TIME TO SET GOALS
In all honesty, it doesn’t matter when you want to make changes in your life. The important bit is that they are the right changes for you, for the right reasons and that you have the support you need to make these changes realistic and sustainable.
A lot of people set themselves goals as a new year resolution and then either forget about them or become deflated because they haven’t achieved them.
If you are someone who enjoys the challenge of a new year’s resolution, but haven’t been able to fully commit to and achieve one in the past, it may be because you haven’t spent enough time considering the changes you would like to make.
So, instead of waiting until the 1st of January – why not start thinking about it now? Or at any time throughout the year.
What would you like to change about your life? What would you be really proud of having achieved this time next year?
For example, if your goal is to be able to walk/run 5km then getting outside while the evenings and weekends are warmer and lighter will help you cope with the colder, darker months because your body is already used to the exercise.
HOW TO SET YOUR OWN GOALS
HAVE THE RIGHT MINDSET
It is important to be in the right mindset to set goals and receive change. Ask yourself why you want to make the change you want to set yourself – are these the right reasons for you?
Thinking you should and someone else telling you to make certain changes all need to be addressed/processed, but are they the right reasons for you to set this goal and want to make this particular change?
For example, comparing yourself to other people which makes you think you should change in some way. Who has told you to make this change – friends/family/society, or a healthcare professional? Do you agree with them?
Even if you do agree with them, is this change something you are ready to embark on right now? If not, then it may not be the right time to set yourself this challenge.
Think about what is causing you the most amount of stress, worry and/or unhappiness and choose a goal based around this. Or at least be aware of what is creating these feelings and deal with them in some way, otherwise these concerns will continue to get in the way of your new goals.
You can also have more than one goal at a time: One that focuses on addressing some deeper changes you want to make and that may take longer to achieve; and another that helps to forget or manage your worries for a while. For example: You may seek the support of a counsellor whilst working on a fitness goal.
CHOOSE SOMETHING MEANINGFUL TO YOU
Choose something meaningful and that holds some form of emotional attachment when you think either about what you don’t like now, or how you’ll feel when you achieve your goal.
I’m not a huge fan of SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-based) goals because I don’t think they take into account our feelings.
I also don’t think that it’s feasible for everyone to know how long it will take to achieve a certain goal to be able to put a timeframe on it.
Feeling a certain way about a goal, in my opinion, is a very valid way (if not more so) of knowing you have achieved what you set out to do.
By all means, add something more tangible to the ‘specific’ and ‘smart’ parts of your goal setting if that works for you, but if you don’t know what that will be, and you only know how you want to feel, then go with that.
As your goal progresses, you may find that it’s easier to visualise more typically tangible targets, as well as when you think you will reach your end goal.
I honestly don’t believe that SMART goals are realistic in every situation, especially if you’ve never done something before and have no idea what you are capable of achieving, so go with what works for you.
MAKE A PLAN
This is the bit that most people forget, or don’t know how to do, when setting goals. As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said: “A goal without a plan is just a wish.”
A plan sets out how you are going to get from where you are now to where you want to be so that you can achieve your goal(s).
Each person’s plan will be different, depending on your goal, what skills and knowledge you already have, and your preferred way of doing things.
It may be a complete plan of actions to reach your goal, or it may be broken down into smaller, more manageable tasks, or mini goals.
It doesn’t matter what the plan looks like, as long as it has realistic actions to get you where you want to go.
CREATE SOME ACCOUNTABILITY
Whether this is someone like me as your life coach, or a friend who you regularly catch up with, having someone who can keep you accountable to what you say you are going to do is really important, especially if you are setting less tangible goals.
Knowing you are meeting with your accountability partner can help you keep on track with your plan to reach your goals.
They can also act as your cheerleader when things are going well, and help you work out how to evaluate and adapt when things are not going to plan.
REGULARLY REVIEW YOUR GOALS
I believe that it is really important to regularly review how you’re feeling, and whether things in your life are still relevant and purposeful.
This is useful for your life in general, as well as any more specific goals you set yourself, to make sure that you are still following the path that is right for you.
By continuously improving your self-awareness, you always know that you are living your best life at any given time.
At worst, it helps you identify when things may need to change.
This also helps when life takes unexpected turns – if you are in tune with your body on a daily (or at least regular) basis, then you know how to recognise when things don’t feel right.
With regular practice, you will also come to understand what your body needs to (re)regulate itself during stressful or uncertain times.
SUMMARY
It doesn’t matter when you want to make changes in your life. The important bit is that they are the right changes for you, for the right reasons and that you have the support you need to make these changes realistic and sustainable.
Setting your own goals allows you to break down big ideas into manageable steps, giving you a clear sense of direction and purpose.
It’s a way to celebrate your progress, stay motivated, and ensure your day-to-day aligns with the life you truly want.
Remember, your journey is personal – focus on what matters most to you, and take it one step at a time. Every small win brings you closer to where you want to be in your life.
NEED SOME HELP SETTING THE RIGHT GOAL(S) FOR YOU?
Whether you want to feel more confident about yourself, completely transform your life, or discover what your full potential looks like, I will help you unpick what’s not working for you, and identify who you are, rather than who you think you should be.
The first step is to book a free discovery call. This is a Teams video chat where we’ll get to know each other, talk about where you are and where you’d like to be, and see if we’re the right fit to work together.
Alternatively, if you would like to know more about how I can support you, please either send me a message or email [email protected].