Admin Consultancy | Emma Shergold
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RUNNING A BUSINESS QUIETLY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD IS SO LOUD
It’s World Introvert Day on 2nd January, which is an ideal opportunity to discuss something that rarely gets covered in business advice: what if you are unable to follow the standard approach to running a business?
This isn’t about refusing to do certain things, but about understanding that sometimes following standard advice can be physically impossible or harmful, and that alternatives do exist.
I’m writing this partly as a way to explain why I do things the way I do (and don’t do the things I am unable to do) and partly for people who are tired of all the noise but think they have to follow the crowd to be successful.
I am an introverted autistic person, so any form of social activity, especially involving verbal communication hits me doubly hard. This isn’t an excuse, it’s a fact – and I also know from spending time (virtually) within these two communities that I am far from alone with this.
However, you don’t need to be introverted or autistic to take something away from this blog. Alternative ways of running a business can be beneficial to anyone who feels uncomfortable being in front of people, for whatever reason.
I also found it quite telling how it took me several hours to even get the content out of my head for this blog, let alone structuring it in a way that made some kind of sense.
There’s nowhere near as much written about unconventional business methods as there is about the way that most people follow, so it was much harder to research and articulate my thoughts.
The loud/extroverted way of doing business dominates every conversation, every article, every piece of advice.
Here’s what I’m discovering about building a business in a way that works for me.
Why traditional networking doesn't work for everyone
Standard business advice assumes everyone can and should network in person. But when I actually calculated the return on investment of me attending networking events, the maths told a different story.
Writing a blog takes me approximately four hours (excluding this one which took much longer!). My current marketing strategy focuses on blogging and SEO content instead of attending networking events. For my working style and capacity, four hours twice a month represents a sustainable use of my time.
Traditional networking, on the other hand, requires:
- Four hours for the event itself (travel time, the event, conversations that run over, transitioning back into work mode)
- Two hours for each follow-up coffee meeting (travel, the meeting, transitioning back to work)
- 4-6 hours of recovery time after each coffee meeting
- 24 hours of recovery from the networking event itself
That totals approximately 35 hours for one event with one follow-up coffee. Even accounting for the 8 hours of sleep I’d have in any 24-hour period, that’s still 26 hours that I’m not able to use productively.
Four hours twice a month versus 26 hours once a week. The comparison speaks for itself.
A blog post also works forever after it’s been published, but nurturing relationships take more time than one coffee!
This isn’t about personal preference – it’s about running a business sensibly and sustainably.
And the final irony – because I find those environments so difficult to be in, I’m uncomfortable, masking the whole time, and not myself. People pick up on this, so I appear even less authentic in person than through my written marketing efforts.
The real cost of doing it the 'right way'
I spent 18 months as a member of a structured networking group where you’re rewarded for passing referrals to other members, amongst many other (in my opinion, dubious) tick boxes. My financial investment included approximately £1,200 for the overall membership fees, and nearly £1,000 for the individual group I was part of.
I attended a two-hour weekly meeting, plus a minimum of two hours each week for compulsory one-to-ones, often with additional meetings scheduled throughout the week. There was also compulsory training, as well as the preparation each week of 60-second pitches, a quarterly presentation, and time spent curating referrals, testimonials, etc.
The result? One solid client that I secured within the first couple of months, who paid £427 per month for 12-18 months.
On paper, the monetary return looks acceptable. In reality, when I factor in the 450+ hours invested over 18 months (plus the aforementioned unproductive time), it didn’t work.
Aside from a few ad-hoc referrals to ‘tick a box’, I didn’t get any new clients after the initial two months, and that first client would have likely stayed with me had I left that networking group after we started working together.
I also tried other “essential” business activities that were supposed to drive growth:
- Maintaining visibility across every social media platform
- Creating videos and reels to help people connect with ‘the real me’
- Using photos of myself to improve engagement on social media
- Having one-to-one calls with people for the sake of staying in touch
- Working from alternative places to my home office
Whilst I did make some great connections at a regular coworking space, the combination of all of the above, especially the networking events, greatly contributed to a pretty severe burnout.
The pattern became clear: I was investing enormous amounts of time and energy into activities that everyone said I “should” be doing, with minimal return for my business.
Sustainable business on your own terms
"If you get on the wrong train, get off at the next stop. The longer you travel, the more expensive the return trip will be."
It takes longer to create systems that work for unconventional businesses than it does to follow the standard rules. This means it will also take longer to reach full capacity.
This is crucial to factor into my growth plans and expectations.
However, the sooner I realised I was doing the wrong things for my business, the sooner I was able to start building the right systems for me.
Despite the many attempts to research, Google, and locate sources that I could follow to build my business in a way that worked better for me, I couldn’t find the business development approach I needed, so I’m building it myself.
There is a lot of trial and error, but each time something does or doesn’t work, I learn something new about myself, my business, and things I can pass onto my clients.
There are a couple of good introverted advocates that I follow – IntrovertDear and SoulAliveBarrie – who gave me the permission I needed to be true to myself and feel the way I felt.
However, beyond this, there is very little on ‘how’ to do this and ‘what’ to do once I believed it was perfectly acceptable to be who I am. And there’s even less on running a business as an introvert, let alone an autistic one.
Networking methods for a Virtual Assistant business
Online coworking sessions
I currently attend online coworking sessions through Freelancer Magazine. These 90-minute sessions require no more than 15 minutes total of speaking, which makes them manageable for me.
I can weigh up the benefits – dedicated working time combined with quality, yet minimal, relationship building – against the impact that even limited “peopling” has on my capacity.
These sessions work because they’re structured and predictable. Even so, I need specific conditions in place:
- Using the same introduction each time
- Being ready at least 20 minutes in advance without rushing around beforehand
- Wearing appropriate clothing that accommodates my anxiety and, therefore, increased body temperature
- Having my desk fan and heater available regardless of the season because adrenaline and cortisol spikes are unpredictable in terms of how they affect my body
- Hoping no-one interrupts my introduction or asks me questions in the main group setting
It took about a month to work out what I needed to make these sessions work for me. This level of planning and preparation goes into everything I do.
Relationship building on social media
In all honesty I don’t like any of them that much, but I now focus my time on two social media platforms – both for very different reasons.
I find LinkedIn easier to post on because it has a regular post format in the app and no requirement for a photo, so I can literally brain dump something without too much effort.
I also find it much easier to comment and react to other people’s posts in terms of building relationships because I am reacting to something that is already out there, as opposed to creating my own content from scratch.
And the way the feed works on LinkedIn by alerting me when one of my connections engages with another post is a really good way for me to engage with people I’m not directly connected with on LinkedIn. I can comment on their posts and, if I get a good vibe, then I will expand my network by connecting with them too.
I like Instagram for the ability to share stories which are usually things that have caught my attention. This sometimes leads to a conversation with someone who has seen it. Or, at the very least, it gives people an idea of the things that make me tick.
I will engage in others’ posts and stories as well, but I don’t use it as much for overall engagement. This actually works perfectly for me because I can separate the two platforms and have a purpose for going on each one.
And for the opposite reasons to LinkedIn, I like how the feed works on Instagram in that others don’t see when I’ve engaged with another post, so it feels a lot safter and private to share more personal experiences.
Other platforms
I deleted X a long time ago and only have Facebook to be able to join groups where information isn’t available elsewhere, and to manage my pages – I don’t actually have any friends over there!
I’ve never created a TikTok account, Pinterest is way too visual for me to ‘compete’ with, and although I have a YouTube account, this only has one post on it that I uploaded to see how it works.
My own content
I will share the odd photo of myself on the socials. This is usually in the form of me running or, actually, nope, that’s about it.
I am a very private person and I really can’t get my head around taking a selfie for the purposes of sharing it for others to see.
Instead, I use Canva to create artwork for Instagram, and usually opt out of using a photo at all on LinkedIn.
The vast majority of my posts are work-related in some way – most giving some insight or tips into how to approach or improve the way people can run their businesses, with a few providing the benefits of working with me.
A fortnightly newsletter, Connection Corner
Connection Corner is my fortnightly newsletter.
As well as sharing useful business tips that can help save you time and improve your efficiency, it is also an opportunity to:
- Stay in touch if the socials aren’t your thing
- Get to know more about me (I don’t share everything publicly)
- Chat to me by email instead of a DM
See what a usual email looks like.
Like what you see? Sign up to receive the next one and you’ll get access to previous issues as well.
Connection Corner represents everything this blog is about – building genuine business relationships through written communication, on my terms and yours. Instead of fighting algorithms or trying to catch people between their endless scroll, I land directly in your inbox twice a month.
For you, my newsletter gives you space to engage at your own pace. Read it when it suits you, reply if something resonates, ignore it if you’re busy that week – there’s no pressure, no performance, no expectation that you’ll respond at all, let alone immediately.
For me, it’s a way to share the insights and behind-the-scenes thinking that don’t always make it to social media, while building the kind of connections that actually feel meaningful rather than transactional.
How Admin Corner will help develop my business
The coworking experience showed me there’s a need for business owners who want alternatives to traditional ways of working.
This is why I’m developing Admin Corner – a weekly coworking membership for my Virtual Assistant business.
When it launches, members will get a weekly 15 minute presentation with things they can implement into their business, followed by 45 minutes of focused work time.
There will also be a members library where all recorded sessions will be available to watch again and/or catch up on.
I’ve seen this membership format work successfully for other businesses, so I’m adapting it to deliver the services I offer in a setting that encourages engagement and relationship building without it being the focus of the session.
It will also give potential clients a way to get to know how I work in a practical way, without the pressure or energy drain of constant conversation.
Join the waitlist for when Admin Corner is live!
Challenging assumptions about trust, business communications and relationships
There’s an assumption in business circles that face-to-face interaction builds trust more effectively than written communication. But I’m not convinced this is actually true.
People don’t require proof that in-person networking works before they attend events – they go because being sociable is socially acceptable. Written communication, by contrast, is constantly expected to justify itself.
My VA clients and I communicate primarily through email, Teams messages (written, not video), and WhatsApp. We hold review meetings via Teams no more than once a month. Between these check-ins, I’m trusted to get on with the work, staying in touch to ensure we’re aligned and to follow up on requests made through our usual communication methods.
These clients found me through personal connections where they got to know me gradually, or through others’ recommendations. What they have in common is that they knew me as myself first, in environments where I could participate authentically rather than performing a “business persona.”
At networking events, I have to mask heavily. I tone down my communication style because quick, dry observations don’t always land well with people who don’t know me.
When I hear comments that aren’t inclusive, I either quietly seethe and look for an exit, or attempt to articulate why the comment bothers me if I’m feeling confident enough. Either response creates an adrenaline spike that means I need to leave as quickly as possible.
Despite all those hours invested and the recovery time that follows, I don’t even come across well in these environments. I’m uncomfortable, masked, and not myself, and people pick up on this so, ironically, I appear even less authentic in person than through my other marketing efforts.
Through written communication, I can be genuine. I can take time to think through my responses. I can build genuine relationships without the performance anxiety that comes with real-time, in-person interaction.
I find it easy to move between different written conversations throughout the day, whereas I need to allow at least an hour after each verbal conversation – often more.
Signs you might need a different approach to your business
If standard business advice feels wrong, it probably is wrong for you and your business.
Here are signs your instincts are trying to tell you something:
- You have to force yourself to do activities you think you “should” be doing
- You leave events feeling drained rather than energised
- You behave differently in business settings than you do with friends
- You experience physical symptoms – increased body temperature, elevated heart rate, heightened anxiety
I’ve heard countless invalidating comments at business events: “It’s easier to just pick up the phone.” (It’s definitely not easier for me!). “I felt burnt out last week.” (Burnout is far more than a week of tiredness.) “I totally get the social battery thing.” (Said by people who network in person every week).
While the standard advice and official support systems are flawed for those of us who crave a quieter environment (mentally and physically), continuing to fight against them won’t change anything.
Your energy is far better applied to accepting the reality of your situation and building something around yourself that actually works for you and your business.
What business boundaries look like
This is what running a business quietly looks like in practice for me.
I love working from home and see no benefit to working anywhere else.
I limit my interactions (whether in person or via video call) to one per day, with at least one full day each week where I don’t interact with anyone outside my household.
My client relationships have evolved naturally to accommodate this.
Communication patterns developed either because that’s how my clients already worked, or because our working styles gradually merged into a rhythm that suits both parties.
When I need time to manage my energy or capacity, I simply say “I’m not available until…” and give myself whatever time I need to do what I need to do.
I don’t owe myself an explanation for how I feel or what I require, so I certainly don’t need to justify it to others.
I enjoy running the operational side of my business as much as the actual client work – which isn’t really surprising as I offer operational services!
Building my website, developing my SEO strategy, writing blogs, maintaining my bookkeeping, setting up systems in MailerLite and various other software I use – these are the tasks I genuinely look forward to.
Sustainable business growth
I’m currently focusing my messaging and marketing primarily on letting people know what I do and how I run my business.
Admin Corner will develop later in 2026 with my hope that the membership will generate a ‘one-to-many’ service over time where my energy levels are kept relatively constant regardless of how many members sign up.
I’ll keep the full VA services on my website to show the complete range of what I provide, and for those who don’t want to continue doing their admin themselves.
My goal is simple: earning enough to pay my bills, cover a few luxuries, and enjoy my life without worrying about money.
Anything beyond that goes toward holidays and future plans.
The plan is to achieve this without needing to work hours that aren’t sustainable for me within a business that is built around me.
This might not sound ambitious by conventional standards, but it’s sustainable. And sustainability is the point.
Ready to build your business on your own terms?
If this blog has resonated with you, here are some ways we can stay connected:
Subscribe to Connection Corner – My fortnightly newsletter where I share business tips, behind-the-scenes insights, and honest conversations about running a quieter business. No networking required, only valuable content delivered to your inbox. Sign up here.
Join the Admin Corner waitlist – Be first to know when my weekly coworking membership launches. It’s designed for business owners who need structure, minimal talking, and maximum productivity. Join here.
Explore my VA services – I offer traditional done for you VA services, with options for one-off projects, regular monthly support, or done with you sessions where we tackle your to-do list together. Book a free initial consultation to discuss what you need and whether we’d be a good fit to work together.
Not sure what support you need? I’ve created a free checklist that helps you work through what makes sense to outsource based on your specific situation. Pick one area from the checklist that would make the biggest difference to your business and start there.