How a Virtual Assistant can help your business in 2026

December 1, 2025 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Productivity How a Virtual Assistant can help your business in 2026 How to choose what to outsource to a VA An Introduction to Understanding CRMs 5 reasons to use a password manager Categories Operations & Systems VA ProductivityOffice Management Neurodivergence Connection Corner Newsletter I share what I’m learning about running a business – the wins, the mistakes, and admin solutions that actually work. Delivered fortnightly to your inbox. Join Connection Corner Admin-focused Coworking Sessions Join other business owners for admin focused coworking sessions that gets stuff done. Weekly 1-hour sessions. Monthly topics. Get stuff done together. Join Admin Corner Free Resources Checklist: How to choose what to outsource to a VA CRM Spreadsheet Template See all resources Work with me Whether you would like a done for you or done with you VA service, or you would like a bit of guidance to get you started, please complete my work with me form. Work with me Edit Template HOW A VIRTUAL ASSISTANT CANHELP YOUR BUSINESS IN 2026 December is the perfect time to start thinking about what you want to achieve in 2026 and how you’re going to make it happen. I’m not talking about resolutions or completely reinventing yourself. I’m talking about having a proper plan in place for you to get the operations and systems in place that actually work. Whether your goals involve growing your business, improving your work-life balance, or simply getting on top of the admin that’s been piling up, having the right support can make all the difference. Here are some practical ways a Virtual Assistant (VA) can help you set your business up for success in 2026. GETTING YOUR BUSINESS ORGANISED One of the biggest barriers to achieving your goals is simply not having proper systems in place. You end up wasting time looking for things, recreating documents from scratch, or trying to remember what needs doing when. A VA can help you get organised in several key areas: Email management If you’re spending hours each day buried in your inbox, a VA can set up filters, folders and templates to streamline your email. They can also handle routine responses, flag priority messages, and archive or delete the rest. The benefit? You get your time back and nothing important slips through the cracks. Filing systems Whether it’s digital or paper-based (or both), having a proper filing system means you can find what you need when you need it. A VA can create a logical structure, create file names that make sense, and even go through your existing chaos to get everything filed properly. The benefit? Being able to find your business certificates, templates, client work, and bookkeeping records in the same place each time. Task management if you’re currently working from memory, scraps of paper, or multiple to-do lists that don’t talk to each other, you’re making life harder than it needs to be. A VA can set up task management software like Asana, create recurring tasks for regular activities, and help you develop a system that actually works for how you run your business. The benefit? You stop wasting mental energy trying to remember everything and can focus that energy on actually doing the work you love. OPTIMISING OPERATIONAL SYSTEMS AND PROCESSES You might already have systems in place, but are they actually working efficiently? A VA who specialises in operations and systems can review your current processes and identify where you’re losing time or duplicating effort. This might mean: Connecting your CRM to your email marketing platform so you’re not manually copying data between the two Creating automation workflows so routine tasks happen automatically rather than requiring your input every single time Streamlining your client onboarding process so it’s consistent and professional without taking up hours of your time Setting up templates and standard operating procedures (SOPs) so tasks that get done regularly can be completed faster. The benefit? You’re not working harder, you’re working smarter. Even small improvements can add up to significant time savings over a year. It’s worth bearing in mind that optimising systems isn’t a one-time job. As your business grows and changes, your systems need to evolve too. Having a VA who understands your operations means they can adapt things as needed rather than you having to figure it out yourself. VA BOOKKEEPING SUPPORT FOR TAX RETURNS If you’re self-employed, you’ve got until 31st January 2026 to submit your tax return for the 2024/25 tax year. Starting to think about this in December rather than leaving it until the last minute means you can approach it methodically instead of frantically hunting for receipts. A VA can also implement a bookkeeping process ready for the end of the next tax year in April, and/or complete your bookkeeping for you each month.  Imagine having your bookkeeping so up-to-date that you never again have to remember what that transaction was for 18 months ago, and being able to file your tax return in May! A VA who offers bookkeeping services can: Set up or update your bookkeeping software to make sure everything’s categorised correctly Chase missing receipts and invoices while there’s still time to get them Reconcile your bank statements to identify any transactions that need explanation Prepare a summary of your income and expenses ready for your accountant (if you have one) Create a system going forward so you’re not in this position again next year. The benefit? You meet the deadline without the stress, you’ve got accurate records if HMRC ever queries anything, and you actually know how your business is performing financially rather than just guessing. This does of course depend on having someone who understands bookkeeping principles and software. Not all VAs offer this service, so it’s worth checking their specific skills and experience. EVENT PREPARATION AND MANAGEMENT SUPPORT If you’ve got events, launches, or campaigns planned for early 2026, December is the time to start getting everything ready. A Virtual Assistant can support you

How to choose what to outsource to a VA

April 21, 2025 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Productivity How a Virtual Assistant can help your business in 2026 How to choose what to outsource to a VA An Introduction to Understanding CRMs 5 reasons to use a password manager Categories Operations & Systems VA ProductivityOffice Management Neurodivergence Connection Corner Newsletter I share what I’m learning about running a business – the wins, the mistakes, and admin solutions that actually work. Delivered fortnightly to your inbox. Join Connection Corner Admin-focused Coworking Sessions Join other business owners for admin focused coworking sessions that gets stuff done. Weekly 1-hour sessions. Monthly topics. Get stuff done together. Join Admin Corner Free Resources Checklist: How to choose what to outsource to a VA CRM Spreadsheet Template See all resources Work with me Whether you would like a done for you or done with you VA service, or you would like a bit of guidance to get you started, please complete my work with me form. Work with me Edit Template HOW TO CHOOSE WHAT TO OUTSOURCE TO A VA If you’re reading this, chances are you’re overwhelmed by your to-do list. You started your business to do the work you love, but somewhere along the way you became the office manager, bookkeeper, event coordinator, email marketer, and everything in between. The good news is you don’t have to do it all yourself. Many business owners struggle with the question: “What can a Virtual Assistant actually do for me?” In short, there’s likely a VA who can provide support in pretty much every area of your business that doesn’t require your specific expertise. From managing your inbox to handling your bookkeeping, updating your website to scheduling regular social media posts and emails – the tasks undertaken by VAs are far broader than most people realise. So the question isn’t whether a VA can help you – it’s figuring out which of your many tasks to delegate first. That’s exactly what this blog will help you with. It will walk you through what us Virtual Assistants can do, provide a process to identify which of your current tasks are best for you to outsource, as well as giving some tips on to implement this successfully with your VA. By the end, you’ll have a clear action plan for reclaiming your time and focusing on what you do best. Let’s start by understanding why working with a VA might be one of the best decisions you make for your business. Since bringing Emma on board as our Virtual Assistant and Bookkeeper in July 2023, the transformation of our business has been nothing short of remarkable Why outsourcing to a VA is beneficial Virtual Assistants offer three key advantages that can transform how you run your business. Firstly, we give you time freedom. By handling routine tasks, you can focus on high-value activities that only you can do, like strategic planning and client relationship building. Secondly, we’re cost-effective compared to hiring full-time employees, as you only pay for the hours you need without the overhead of benefits, office space, or equipment. Finally, we allow you to focus on what you do best – your core expertise – rather than getting bogged down in administrative tasks that use up your energy and time. Common concerns and how to overcome them Many business owners worry about losing control or whether someone else can maintain their quality standards. The key is to start with small with low-risk tasks while you build your trust with your VA, and they learn how your business works. Others fear the time investment in training, but remember that the upfront time spent documenting processes pays dividends when you’re freed from those tasks permanently. In many cases, your VA will pick up what they need to do in one or two sessions with you and write the SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) for that task as part of their hours. The cost of a VA, to some, looks like a high outgoing (especially compared to an employee’s hourly rate), however you need to remember that you’re not employing someone. If you are saving yourself 10 hours a week at your hourly rate of £60+/hour by outsourcing your admin tasks, that’s £2,600 a month that could be redirected to revenue-generating activities. WHAT MAKES A GOOD VA TASK Repetitive/routine tasks Repetitive tasks are those that are done on a daily, or very regular basis. Checking emails, especially helpdesk type inboxes that often require similar responses, entering data into databases or CRMs, or reconciling your bookkeeping are all examples of repetitive tasks. The benefit of these kind of tasks is that once your VA learns the process, we can often do it faster and more consistently than you. Tasks with clear instructions/processes These are tasks you do the same way every time, following a certain process. As well as the routine tasks above, your monthly invoice process, scheduling marketing emails, and social media posts, and coordinating events will all follow a form of process. In short, if you can write a step-by-step guide for it, it’s perfect for delegation, and if you don’t already have a documented process, your VA can probably create one for you. Non-confidential work Although your VA ‘should’ work to a level that protects anything that is confidential, you will want to build that trust with them first. Initially choosing tasks that don’t involve sensitive business information, or directly delivering your services to your clients. Generally, most operational tasks that keep your business running on a day-to-day basis are ideal for a VA. Tasks that don’t require your specific expertise While you might be the expert in your field, many surrounding tasks don’t need that expertise. Your VA doesn’t need to understand complex tax law to reconcile income and expenses in your accounting software, or know marketing strategy to schedule your blogs and marketing emails. Your VA will focus on the “doing” while you handle the “thinking” and “deciding.” Specific VA Tasks by Category Administrative

An Introduction to Understanding CRMs

October 23, 2024 Emma Shergold AN INTRODUCTION TO UNDERSTANDING CRMs Customer Relationship Management, or CRM, has become essential software for modern businesses. Whether you’re a start-up or an established company, a CRM system can transform how you store your data, interact with your clients or customers, manage sales, and grow your business. This blog will summarise what is meant by a CRM, what they are used for, and how to choose the best one for you and your business. Throughout the blog I have linked several different software, but there are currently no affiliated links on this blog. WHAT IS A CRM Although CRM stands for Customer Relationship Management, I prefer to refer to it as a Contact Relationship Manager because, quite frankly, that covers data that is collected for everyone involved in a business, not just customers. However, the main function is designed to help businesses manage and analyse interactions and data throughout the lifecycle of each contact. A CRM centralises all your contact data in one accessible place. This includes contact information, communication history, sales, potential sales, and notes. It is effectively a digital filing cabinet that everyone in the business can access and update rather than everything being in one person’s email software or phone. And, unlike a traditional filing cabinet, people can’t (easily) remove , records, leaving you searching the office for it! THE CORE FUNCTIONS OF A CRM Most CRMs share several key functions. Contact management allows you to store and organise comprehensive profiles with all relevant details in one place. Sales pipeline management helps you record and track potential clients/customers as they progress from the initial lead to securing the contract, showing what is being worked on and providing estimated income projections. Communication tracking records every interaction, such as emails, calls, and meetings so that anyone looking at the CRM can see who has recently been contacted and any outcomes or follow ups that need to be actioned.  Task and activity management helps you to keep track of what needs doing with a contact or project. Many projects require the input of contractors or suppliers, so this is where storing other contacts aside customers/clients can be beneficial. WHY BUSINESSES USE CRMs The main reasons come down to practicality and efficiency. CRMs help to reduce the time it takes to track down a contact’s details and associated notes or tasks by giving everyone in your business access to the information. Your sales team isn’t duplicating work because everyone can see what’s already been done. Customer service is improved because support agents understand the contact’s full history with your company. Even if you are a sole trader, a CRM can help you keep all your contact data, notes and tasks in one place, which reduces the time it takes to find the right notebook or search through emails and texts for the information you need. Overall, efficiency increases substantially, and this is key to a successful (and profitable) business. Most CRMs have automation features* like automated email sequences, task reminders, and workflow triggers, which help reduce the manual  admin side of things.  Perhaps most importantly, CRMs can improve your revenue. By understanding your customers better, you can identify upsell and cross-sell opportunities. You can segment customers to target marketing efforts more effectively. You can identify which customers are at risk of leaving and take action to retain them. *This is usually within paid versions of CRM software, although there are often workarounds and third party automations that can be used. CHOOSING THE RIGHT CRM FOR YOUR NEEDS Here’s an important truth: not every business needs a full CRM platform. The right solution depends entirely on what you’re trying to achieve and what other tools you’re already using. Below are the main options available: Simple Contact Storage: The Spreadsheet Approach If your primary need is simply to store contacts so that everyone in your business has access to the same information, a well-organised spreadsheet might be all you need. A shared spreadsheet in Google Sheets or Excel provides a centralised location where you and your team can view and update contact details. This approach has real advantages: it’s free, requires no training, and you have complete control over your data structure. More importantly, building a spreadsheet first is an excellent way to understand what data your business actually needs to collect. It forces you to think about which fields matter. Names, email addresses, phone numbers, company information, and sales history are the basic data categories, but there are so many others provided by a CRM platform that you won’t need. This foundational work is invaluable. If/when you move to a CRM platform, you’ll have clean, organised data and a clear understanding of your requirements. A well-maintained spreadsheet can also serve as reliable data ready for upload into whatever CRM platform you choose later. Download your FREE CRM Spreadsheet Template Building Relationships and Managing Tasks: Time for a CRM platform If you want to move beyond simple contact storage and focus more on build relationships, tracking interactions, creating follow-up tasks, managing a sales pipeline, or coordinating team efforts, then a dedicated CRM platform becomes a lot more valuable. Although the CRM Spreadsheet Template will help you to manage relationships and use functions like Conditional Formatting to highlight follow-ups, a CRM platform allows you to easily integrate with your other software and systems to create and allocate tasks linked to contacts, opportunities and (sometimes) projects/events.  When choosing a CRM platform, consider what other software your business relies on. Does it need to integrate with Outlook or Gmail? Would you like it to work seamlessly with your email system? Integration capabilities are crucial because you (and your team) will actually use the platform if it fits naturally into their existing workflow. A CRM that requires switching between multiple windows will often meet with user resistance. Email and Contact Management: Mailing Software as an Alternative There is another option worth considering, especially if email communication is a priority. Mailing software

5 reasons to use a password manager

May 2, 2024 Emma Shergold 5 REASONS TO USE A PASSWORD MANAGER In today’s online world, keeping track of all our passwords can feel like trying to remember a hundred different keys. That’s where password managers come in. They’re like digital safe boxes for your passwords, making it easier to manage and protect them. With cyber threats everywhere, using a password manager is like putting a lock on your digital doors, keeping your accounts safe from hackers. In a world where I live so much of my personal and work life using online software and systems, using a password manager isn’t just a good idea – it’s essential for keeping my data secure. I can also create separate folders and vaults for my clients’ passwords too within the same password manager. 5 REASONS TO USE A PASSWORD MANAGER 1. You only need to remember one master password Just having to remember one password makes life a lot easier when you use a password manager. This one password unlocks access to all your other passwords stored safely in the manager. No more struggling to recall different passwords for different accounts. It’s like having a single key for all your digital locks, keeping things simple and secure. 2. Increased security Unlike storing passwords in your browser or writing them down in the back of a notebook, password managers offer an extra layer of protection. They use advanced techniques to secure your data, making it nearly impossible for hackers to crack. Plus, many password managers offer features like two-factor authentication and secure sharing, adding even more security to your accounts. 3. Helps stop the use of duplicate passwords Using the same password for different accounts might seem easy, but it’s risky. If one account is hacked, all your other accounts are at risk too. That’s why it’s important to use different passwords for each account. It’s like putting locks on different doors – if one lock is broken, the others stay secure. With a password manager, you don’t need to remember all your passwords, which makes it more convenient to choose a different one for each account. 4. It generates strong passwords for you Password managers can make strong and unique passwords for each of your accounts. Instead of struggling to think of them yourself, these tools create passwords with numbers, letters, and symbols that are hard for hackers to crack. By creating passwords that are difficult for hackers to guess, password managers add another layer to your online security. 5. Improved efficiency Of course, I couldn’t not mention efficiency. As password managers work on all your devices, like your computer, phone, or tablet, it removes the time needed to locate and type out lengthy passwords each time you log in somewhere. They keep your passwords synced so you can access them anywhere you need to. Whether you’re at home, in the office, or out and about, your passwords are safe and easy to find. They also come with an internet extension which can be added to your browser to easily log you into your desktop accounts. HOW TO CHOOSE A PASSWORD MANAGER There are a lot of different password managers out there, each with their own perks and features. I have listed a few that I am aware of and/or have used myself, but with so many options available, it can be hard to know which one is right for you, so it’s important to do you own research and choose one that works best for your needs. It’s also a good idea to research each one for reviews and any breaches. Some people are put off by data breaches and others take the view that they now have even more robust systems in place. Bitwarden This is the software that I use. One of the main attractions for me is that I can use it on more than one device on the free version. There is also the option to upgrade to an organisation and share passwords with other members of your team. LastPass This is another popular password manager. I used to use it, but switched to Bitwarden when LastPass removed the access across multiple devices on the free version. Keeper Keeper is a popular password manager with other Business Managers and Virtual Assistants, although I haven’t personally used this one myself. SUMMARY I hope this has been useful, but please remember that although password managers can greatly improve your online security, they’re not fool proof. Be careful when choosing one, and make sure to pick a trusted provider with strong security features. Keep your master password safe, as it’s the key to all your other passwords. It’s also a good idea to review your password manager regularly and use extra security measures like two-factor authentication. While password managers are helpful, it’s still important to stay alert and take steps to protect your online accounts and information. DO YOU NEED SOME SUPPORT SETTING UP SOFTWARE IN YOUR BUSINESS? Whether it is a password manager, or another online software that you would like some support with, I can help you set it up and customise it for your needs. I can also help to manage the use of your software going forward with software such as, email marketing, accounting, and CRM/databases. The first step is to book a free discovery call. This is a Teams video chat where we’ll get to know each other, talk about what plans you have, what changes you’d like to implement, and how I can help you. BOOK A FREE DISCOVERY CALL Alternatively, if you would like to know more about how I can support you, please either send me a message or email [email protected].

An autistic guide to educating others

February 23, 2023 Emma Shergold AN AUTISTIC GUIDE TO EDUCATING OTHERS Updated: April 17, 2025 Introduction This blog was first written in February 2023 when I was still in burnout, unable to work and I feeling extremely angry and frustrated about how I difficult I was finding it trying to navigate the world as a relatively newly diagnosed AuDHD person (autistic with ADHD). When I reviewed this blog in 2025 I thought about rewording it to remove some of that anger and frustration but decided instead to share the reality of what it feels like to be an understood AuDHD person and the unrealistic expectations put on neurodivergent people (and any minority group for that matter) to have to continually explain and justify who they are. Although I have now managed to move past the anger and frustration and focus on creating a life that does work for me, the facts of my original blog remain the same and are experienced by neurodivergent (and other minority groups) on a daily basis. This is still unacceptable and the rest of the world needs to start taking responsibility to educate themselves on these topics – as I mention in the blog itself, complete and accurate ‘formal’ research may not exist because so little has been done, but there is now an abundance of lived experiences and advocates from whom a lot can be learned. An autistic guide to educating others “Where’s your proof?” is unfortunately a comment I am seeing all too often on other people’s posts about their experiences, self diagnoses, and even clinical/formal diagnoses of autism and ADHD, especially in relation to late diagnosed women or people assigned female at birth (AFAB). If the people asking this incredibly invalidating question are after an x-ray to show which part of us is broken, or an MRI that identifies the area of our brain that is diseased, then they are in for a huge disappointment. Why will they be disappointed? Because: We’re not broken We’re not diseased Nobody has deemed us important enough to do (m)any studies on our experiences, so we are having to do our own research and understanding by communicating with others with similar experiences. Then, because some of us are highly empathetic people, and can’t bear the thought of other people going undiagnosed for so long without any support, we are sharing our experiences to highlight what autism and ADHD looks like in middle-aged women. We also share our struggles over the years to raise awareness to other adults who are parents, employers, healthcare providers, or anyone who cares enough about other people to take an interest, so they may recognise if someone they know may be presenting any similar signs of autism and ADHD. For some people, though, this explanation will not (ever) be enough. How it feels to have to keep validating yourself It isn’t exhausting enough to have been told you’re not good enough for 40+ years and to have your thoughts and behaviours questioned. Every. Single. Day. that you hit complete burnout before anyone even starts paying attention, let alone offering any support. Support which then fades away when they’re happy you’re no longer suicidal and can release that from their conscience. It’s not debilitating enough to then have early peri/menopause thrown into the mix and ignored for several years because we’re ‘too young’ (for which, in case you’re wondering, there aren’t any studies (or proof as you may want to call it) on how peri/menopause presents early in neurodivergent women because there aren’t even (m)any studies on middle-aged ND women, let alone peri/menopausal ones!). It’s not enough for us to have all these years of lived experience, combined with years of research (by which I mean communicating with other ND people in the ND community) and possibly a couple of formal diagnoses, if we’re lucky to either live somewhere (ie the UK) where this is accessible after being on a waiting list for 3-4 years (whilst being completely ignored and unsupported during this wait). We are then expected to provide ‘proof’ that we’re not making all this up and somehow attempt to educate others who didn’t believe us in the first place! It is unfair to expect us to keep educating others So, even though I spent more than four decades battling through life, being ostracised by friends, family, work colleagues and society in general, of which two of these years were spent heavily researching my own diagnoses so I could go to my GP and demand an autism and ADHD referral and HRT to even stand a chance of regaining a level with other people who have not had any of these struggles, I am still expected to provide resources and ‘proof’ to help people better understand me. And I’m then accused of not making enough effort to get on with people (this is beyond so much belief that I fear an exclamation mark would deem it sarcasm). I ask you – at which point will you deem me important enough to do your own research and let me know how you can include me in your life? OK, maybe that is a bit unfair. I mean, you have your hair and nails appointment to get to and a big house to tidy ready for the cleaner to come in and clean for you, and a very important career that you’ve managed to sustain and progress, so I’ll give you a few places to start… Some resources to start your educating yourself This is by no means an exhaustive list of resources and advocates, but it’s where I began, which then led me on to many other resources along the way: Sarah Hendrickx video – Girls and Women and Autism: What’s the difference?This is a really insightful video of how girls present differently to boys and, as such, why girls have been overlooked for autism diagnoses until fairly recently. Sarah also provides a staggering statistic about the tiny amount of studies

An autistic guide to overwhelm and burnout

November 28, 2021 Emma Shergold AN AUTISTIC GUIDE TO OVERWHELM AND BURNOUT Reviwed and updated: October 15, 2025 Five days after I received my autism diagnosis I was exhausted. I was still delighted by the diagnosis, but as the days went on, I became more and more tired. I was no a stranger to this feeling and I knew what I needed to do to improve my energy levels, but it really sucked that I felt this way because of something amazing. In fact, after any one of these occasions: A very sad occasion, such as a family funeral A very happy occasion, such as a family wedding A fun day out for my birthday; or Receiving a diagnosis that allowed 42 years of stress, anxiety and tension to leave my body I feel exhausted a few days later while my body catches up with and processes all the emotions. With autistic exhaustion, it is overthinking and an overload of emotions and/or activities that contributes to the overwhelm that can eventually lead to complete autistic burnout if not addressed. When I was previously told I had depression and anxiety (a mental health disorder), it was the same overthinking that caused the anxiety attacks and eventually bouts of depression. I was advised that best way to address this was to practice a different way of thinking (CBT) and to remain active. However, these processes and activities just made things worse for me. The more I tried to think about things differently and try not to stop completely, the more I was inadvertently compounding my then undiagnosed autism. Whilst anxiety is something that remains with me, I now recognise it is a symptom of being autistic, especially in certain situations. Being autistic is a way of being rather than a disorder, so cannot be treated or made better. And nor do I want to be made ‘better’ or be any other way. I love the way I see the world and find joy in the most simple things. I would never want to change that, but occasionally I do need to manage it to survive. What an autism diagnosis means for me Although my official autism diagnosis was very new, I had been self-diagnosed for about 6 months and been considering it on and off for the previous three years. In that time, I had done a LOT of research on autism in adults and, in particular, how it presents in women (mainly because I am an adult woman). This research enabled me to understand myself better and start making small changes to my lifestyle to better suit my needs. One of these changes was to start understanding the difference between autistic burnout and a mental health breakdown. The latter I thought I had been experiencing (and was being treated for) and the former was actually what had happened. My autistic burnouts had been caused by an accumulation of exhaustion and overwhelm that I had been trying to push through. And in some ways I am relieved that it is ‘just’ overwhelm because I now know how best to manage this. How I manage overwhelm to help avoid burnout Effectively, I have to do the opposite of what I had been told to do for a mental health disorder. A disorder that can be treated, made better and, often, overcome entirely. When I am overwhelmed and/or exhausted, I have to stop completely and allow my body time to recover from whatever has happened. And the sooner I can recognise this and put measures in place, the quicker I can recover and, most importantly, avoid spiralling towards a complete burnout again. You could think of this overwhelm as a mini burnout that ‘only’ lasts for a few days to a week, rather than months or even years. What was once decribed as ‘coping strategies’, I now prefer to call ‘regulation techniques’ – I mean, I am (thankfully) no longer trying to cope with life, I am getting my life back and managing the things that happen along the way. In any case, my process is the same: Remove anything that is not absolutely necessary from my day For me, this is any social commitments, which are extremely minimal anyway and only with people who know I may cancel at the last minute I will reduce my level of exercise, if I even have the energy to do any at all As I am self employed, I class work as necessary, but I will cancel or reschedule this if I really don’t think I can manage it I do usually shower every day, but this might be the only thing I do that day I rarely get dressed into regular clothes unless I have to go out, so pyjamas or lounge pants are standard, but more so during a state of overwhelm or exhaustion. Be strict with my bedtime I make sure I start getting ready for bed at 8.30pm This is what I like to do anyway, but the better I start feeling, the later my bedtime gets Allowing my bedtime to slip is probably how the overwhelm starts building, so is something I incorporate into my management plan. Prioritise things that make me feel good (in this order) For me, not getting at least 9 hours of sleep every night negatively affects every other part of my life, so this is my number one priority in any period of burnout or overwhelm I also love my food. And by that I literally mean MY food. I eat the same foods most days and weeks because I know what I like, I enjoy eating it, and it makes shopping very easy My diet is also relatively healthy and accommodates my dietary needs so it helps nourish me, which is what helps me feel good I avoid social media. I am very selective over what platforms I use anyway, but in any form of burnout or overwhelm, I don’t need to see how

Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis

November 25, 2021 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Life Coaching Mental Health Neurodivergence Office Management Run Coaching Sports Massage Transformational Coaching Transitional Coaching Virtual Assistance My response to: “So, what do you do?” How to set your own goals What makes me a good life coach 5 reasons to use a password manager An autistic guide to educating others There is no such thing as Blue Monday An autistic guide to overwhelm and burnout Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis How to set successful New Year resolutions Categories Office ManagementLife CoachingMental HealthNeurodivergenceRun CoachingSports MassageVirtual Assistance Business Support Office Management CRM/Database Management Email Inbox Management Bookkeeping Event Support Website Management Email Automations Project Coordination Access Support Life Coaching General Life Coaching Transitional Life Coaching Exercise & Fitness Coaching Diet & Nutrition Coaching Run Coaching Business Coaching EV Sports Sports Massage Beginner Running Course Return to Running Course Fundamentals of Running Course Run Coaching RECEIVING A MIDDLE-AGED AUTISM DIAGNOSIS For more than 30 years, I felt that I didn’t fit in, was told to try harder and struggled with worsening mental health difficulties. And then, at the age of 42, I finally received an official diagnosis. I wasn’t not broken, I didn’t need to be fixed, I AM AUTISTIC! The psychiatrist who did my assessment was brilliant and she concluded there is no doubt that I am autistic. Both of my parents were there too, so at the end of the assessment, the psychiatrist asked if we wanted to know what autism meant in different areas of development, what I would have found so difficult in certain aspects of my life, and why it has been left undiagnosed for so long. Although I had done a lot of research over the 18 months prior to my assessment, I suggested it was explained it for my parents’ benefit and to save me having to say it all to them myself. After all the heartache and battle to get to this point, I can 100% say it was worth it as the relief of hearing someone else saying it all was immense. The more the psychiatrist explained what I had struggled with my whole adult life and how it had impacted me, the more I felt validated that I hadn’t been making it all up! I was not broken, I didn’t need to be fixed – I am autistic! It was like 40 years of worry, stress, and anxiety had been lifted off my shoulders in the form of great big sobs! I couldn’t stop crying! I hear people talk about when they go on holiday and switch off from everything at home. Holidays are stressful for me so I’ve never really had that feeling, but imagine it would be something like this, just somewhere warmer. My brain felt empty for the first time that I can remember as I finally let go of everything that didn’t make sense. The psychiatrist wrote to my GP and let them know the diagnosis and to also ask them to refer me for an ADHD assessment as she thought there were signs of that too. My GP could apparently advise me of the support that is available to me in our area, but I’m not holding out much hope given how incompetent and unsympathetic they have been so far, so Autism Hampshire and The National Autistic Society will probably be better places to go. Although there isn’t a treatment for autism, the relief was probably the best ‘medicine’ I could have had. The relief was so unexpected and I understood when others have said that a diagnosis doesn’t change anything, but changes everything. I never wanted the diagnosis to use as an excuse for things, but I feel so empowered to use it as a reason now. A reason why I love being alone, a reason why I don’t want to go to that party, a reason why I am who I am. I’m not broken and I don’t need to be fixed, I’m just me! LEARN MORE ABOUT ADULT AUTISM If you would like to learn more about autism, and particularly how it presents in women and girls (which can be very different to boys), I would highly recommend the following resources: Girls and Women and Autism: What’s the difference, by Sarah Hendrickx Aspergirls, by Rudy Simone (available in paperback and audiobook) Following hashtags on Instagram, such as #ActuallyAutistic #AutisticAdult #AutismAwareness and #AutismCommunity. Most of these are also on other social media platforms. Following accounts on Instagram, such as @embrace.autism (with research-based information) @autistic_at-40, @livedexperienceeducator, @jesdiverges, @autistic_therapist, and @squarepeg.community (which is also a great podcast) SUMMARY Whether you are exploring the possibility that you are autistic yourself, would like to support someone else, or are interested in understanding a bit more about this process, it’s important to remember that obtaining a clinical diagnosis is not possible or wanted by everyone. In an ideal world, no-one would need to have a diagnosis in order to be heard by all the people who have denied support. But, sadly, this is still the reality for many late and un-diagnosed autistic adults. The process is difficult because you have to expose everything you find difficult in your life and share all the things you have struggled with before this point. And the waiting list for a non-private assessment is several years in the UK. Some people are able to self-identify as autistic, but for others the ‘formal’ diagnosis is required to obtain the support they desperately need. DO YOU NEED SOME SUPPORT WITH EXPLORING YOUR NEURODIVERGENCE? Whether you are exploring the idea that you might be autistic and/or ADHD, have received a diagnosis and don’t know what to do next, or would like some support to unmask in different areas of your life, I will provide a compassionate and empathetic space for you to discover who you really are. The first step is to book a free discovery call. This is a Teams video chat where we’ll get to