My response to: “So, what do you do?”

February 7, 2025 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Life Coaching Mental Health Neurodivergence Office Management Run Coaching Sports Massage Transformational Coaching Transitional Coaching Virtual Assistance My response to: “So, what do you do?” How to set your own goals What makes me a good life coach 5 reasons to use a password manager An autistic guide to educating others There is no such thing as Blue Monday An autistic guide to overwhelm and burnout Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis How to set successful New Year resolutions Categories Life CoachingMental HealthNeurodivergenceOffice ManagementRun CoachingSports MassageVirtual Assistance Business Support Office Management CRM/Database Management Email Inbox Management Bookkeeping Event Support Website Management Email Automations Project Coordination Access Support Life Coaching General Life Coaching Transitional Life Coaching Exercise & Fitness Coaching Diet & Nutrition Coaching Run Coaching Business Coaching EV Sports Sports Massage Beginner Running Course Return to Running Course Fundamentals of Running Course Run Coaching Qualifications & CPD Business Management Diploma Anti-Money Laundering (AML) and Financial Crime Mentoring & Coaching Skills Psychology of Behaviour Change Life Coaching & Mindfulness Diploma Advanced Personal Training Diploma England Athletics Running Coach Gym Instruction Nutrition & Weight Management Nutrition for Sport & Exercise Circuit Training Pilates Fundamentals Pre and Post Natal Nutrition Pre and Post Natal Massage Sports & Remedial Massage Diploma “SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?” This is a question I get asked a lot. And it is a really difficult question for me to answer for two main reasons: 1. I do a lot of different things 2. I really don’t like talking about myself (I’m better at writing than verbalising) What I really want to respond with is: ‘What do you need support with? If it’s related to business, running, general wellbeing, neurodivergence or something musculoskeletal, then I’ll either be able to help you myself or point you in the direction of someone who can.’ That comes across arrogant and rude, though, when the other person is seemingly trying to make small talk with me (another thing I struggle to recognise and reciprocate). But it’s true. My skillset, experience and qualifications are so broad in these areas that I simply can’t answer this question with a few words (that the other person is expecting from me). So, what is it that I do that is so hard to articulate – let me go into a bit more detail… A SUMMARY OF THE THINGS I DO Sports Massage Predominately working with runners to support their training, although they usually initially come to me with an injury. Once this is addressed, I continue to work with many of them on more of an injury rehabilitation and/or injury prevention basis. Run Coaching Providing support to runners via one-to-one coaching, running courses, and training plans. Although I can work with most runners, my passion is with beginners and those returning to running after prolonged injury or illness. Lifestyle Coaching Helping people to unpick what’s not working for them, identifying who they are, rather than who they think they should be. We work together to turn thoughts, feelings and ideas into actionable plans and help them move closer to their goals. Office Management Working with smaller business owners and sole traders to manage and improve the efficiency of their business. This is initially in the form of a review of how things are currently done, implementing the necessary process and procedure changes, and then managing the day-to-day business operations. Virtual Assistance Either following on from the business management service, or as stand alone support, I work with business owners to undertake the more day-to-day tasks within their business. This can also be ad-hoc or project work. One of Life’s Human Signposts This is where the ‘…I’ll either be able to help you myself or point you in the direction of someone who can.’ bit comes in. WHY I DON’T CHOOSE A BUSINESS NICHE There are a few reasons why focusing on just one thing doesn’t work for me, which I’ve tried to explain below: I enjoy everything that I do The first reason I am unable to ‘just focus on one thing’ is because I enjoy doing all of these things, and to some people I am really good at all these things. I am not everyone’s cup of tea and quite frankly I don’t want to be – I’ve been a people pleaser in the past and it didn’t end so well for me because, as the saying goes: “You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, otherwise you’d be a mug.” I am selective over who I work with because it’s important for me to feel comfortable talking to all my clients about the day-to-day nature of my work, as well as the more difficult ‘reality’ conversations that are needed from time to time. My work often overlaps The next reason is that all of these things that I do can (and do) overlap from time to time – the lifestyle coaching in particular is relevant to so many areas of life and can easily feed into any one of the other services I provide, so I don’t want to limit the choice that people have when working with me. I have impromptu coaching sessions with my VA clients during our catch ups, and I will share my knowledge about software settings, diet and nutrition, and general life hacks with my massage and running clients. Maybe everyone does this, I don’t know, but what I do know is that people are quite surprised how much I know about lots of different things. I like knowing things and I wouldn’t have this level of knowledge if I only focused on one career. The need for variety The third reason is that I need variety in my life. And structure. Yes, I’m complicated, but I like to call this structured variety – I know what I need to do each day work wise, but each day is different. Focusing on one business area leads to boredom and then frustration

How to set your own goals

January 15, 2025 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Life Coaching Mental Health Neurodivergence Office Management Run Coaching Sports Massage Virtual Assistance My response to: “So, what do you do?” How to set your own goals What makes me a good life coach 5 reasons to use a password manager There is no such thing as Blue Monday Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis How to set successful New Year resolutions 6 tips on staying hydrated Categories Life CoachingMental HealthNeurodivergenceOffice ManagementRun CoachingSports MassageVirtual Assistance Business Support Office Management CRM/Database Management Email Inbox Management Bookkeeping Event Support Website Management Email Automations Project Coordination Access Support Life Coaching General Life Coaching Transitional Life Coaching Exercise & Fitness Coaching Diet & Nutrition Coaching Run Coaching Business Coaching EV Sports Sports Massage Beginner Running Course Return to Running Course Fundamentals of Running Course Run Coaching Qualifications & CPD Business Management Diploma Anti-Money Laundering (AML) and Financial Crime Mentoring & Coaching Skills Psychology of Behaviour Change Life Coaching & Mindfulness Diploma Advanced Personal Training Diploma England Athletics Running Coach Gym Instruction Nutrition & Weight Management Nutrition for Sport & Exercise Circuit Training Pilates Fundamentals Pre and Post Natal Nutrition Pre and Post Natal Massage Sports & Remedial Massage Diploma HOW TO SET YOUR OWN GOALS People often think that goals need to be big life-changing achievements, such as buying a bigger house, moving jobs, starting a business, losing a lot of weight, running a marathon, or creating a life that feels truly yours. These ambitions can feel both exciting and overwhelming, with the gap between where you are now and where you want to be feeling a long way off, leaving you unsure where or how to start. Whilst all of these things can be your chosen goals at some point in your life, or a milestone goal, setting smaller goals along the way can be just as rewarding. By setting smaller goals, you not only get to celebrate more often when you achieve them, they are also more likely to be achievable in the first place, or at least within a shorter timeframe, which can help you stay hopeful of achieving the bigger goals too. In this post, we’ll explore how to set meaningful goals that feel manageable, keep you focused, and bring you closer to where you want to be. WHY SET GOALS One of the most important reasons to set goals is that they create outcomes from your ideas. Saying, ‘I want to get fit’ or ‘I’d love to start a business’ is a great starting point, but these ideas alone don’t help you get where you want to be. Goals break down these ideas into more specific aims, like running three times a week or researching how to start a business. When you know what you’re working towards, it’s much easier to make consistent progress. Goals also keep you motivated. Each time you set and achieve a goal – no matter how small – it builds a sense of accomplishment and encourages you to keep going. Celebrating these small wins not only boosts your confidence but also reinforces the belief that you’re capable of accomplishing  the bigger things you want to achieve. Another reason goal setting is so important is that it helps you prioritise. Life can be busy, and it’s easy to get caught up in distractions or waste time on things that don’t really matter to you. Having clear goals acts as a to-do list, allowing you to focus your time and energy on the activities that align with where you want your life to be. WHEN IS A GOOD TIME TO SET GOALS In all honesty, it doesn’t matter when you want to make changes in your life. The important bit is that they are the right changes for you, for the right reasons and that you have the support you need to make these changes realistic and sustainable. A lot of people set themselves goals as a new year resolution and then either forget about them or become deflated because they haven’t achieved them. If you are someone who enjoys the challenge of a new year’s resolution, but haven’t been able to fully commit to and achieve one in the past, it may be because you haven’t spent enough time considering the changes you would like to make. So, instead of waiting until the 1st of January – why not start thinking about it now? Or at any time throughout the year. What would you like to change about your life? What would you be really proud of having achieved this time next year? For example, if your goal is to be able to walk/run 5km then getting outside while the evenings and weekends are warmer and lighter will help you cope with the colder, darker months because your body is already used to the exercise. HOW TO SET YOUR OWN GOALS HAVE THE RIGHT MINDSET It is important to be in the right mindset to set goals and receive change. Ask yourself why you want to make the change you want to set yourself – are these the right reasons for you? Thinking you should and someone else telling you to make certain changes all need to be addressed/processed, but are they the right reasons for you to set this goal and want to make this particular change? For example, comparing yourself to other people which makes you think you should change in some way. Who has told you to make this change – friends/family/society, or a healthcare professional? Do you agree with them? Even if you do agree with them, is this change something you are ready to embark on right now? If not, then it may not be the right time to set yourself this challenge. Think about what is causing you the most amount of stress, worry and/or unhappiness and choose a goal based around this. Or at least be aware of what is creating these feelings and deal with them in some

What makes me a good life coach

September 19, 2024 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Life Coaching Mental Health Neurodivergence Office Management Run Coaching Sports Massage Virtual Assistance My response to: “So, what do you do?” How to set your own goals What makes me a good life coach 5 reasons to use a password manager There is no such thing as Blue Monday Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis How to set successful New Year resolutions 6 tips on staying hydrated Categories Life CoachingMental HealthNeurodivergenceOffice ManagementRun CoachingSports MassageVirtual Assistance Business Support Office Management CRM/Database Management Email Inbox Management Bookkeeping Event Support Website Management Email Automations Project Coordination Access Support Life Coaching General Life Coaching Transitional Life Coaching Exercise & Fitness Coaching Diet & Nutrition Coaching Run Coaching Business Coaching EV Sports Sports Massage Beginner Running Course Return to Running Course Fundamentals of Running Course Run Coaching Qualifications & CPD Business Management Diploma Anti-Money Laundering (AML) and Financial Crime Mentoring & Coaching Skills Psychology of Behaviour Change Life Coaching & Mindfulness Diploma Advanced Personal Training Diploma England Athletics Running Coach Gym Instruction Nutrition & Weight Management Nutrition for Sport & Exercise Circuit Training Pilates Fundamentals Pre and Post Natal Nutrition Pre and Post Natal Massage Sports & Remedial Massage Diploma WHAT MAKES ME A GOOD LIFE COACH In a nutshell, because I haven’t always gotten it right in my own life. In fact, I’ve taken more paths that were wrong for me than ones that were right for me. From relationships, jobs, self-employed ventures, socialising, and even my beloved running. I have found myself at rock bottom on more than once occasion and, despite asking for professional help along the way, I ended up rebuilding my life by myself, slowly but surely. Each time I started over with my life, I did so with a different approach. Each time was mostly getting me closer to where I wanted to be, but also encountering more setbacks. WHERE IT ALL BEGIN I first explored the idea of life coaching back in 2014, when I was delivering personal training sessions alongside my sports massage. It was clear that both overlapped quite a lot in just those two elements of people’s lives. The more conversations I had with my clients, the more apparent it became that what happened in their personal lives, careers, and everything else that made up their days, could have a profound effect on any one or more area of their lives. I’ll be honest, though – back then, I wasn’t a big fan of the term ‘Life Coach’. I was ready to move forward with my business in this way, but the world wasn’t ready to receive it, at least not in the UK. Or maybe it was the people in my life at the time that discouraged me. However, although I knew that was what I wanted to do, and I began rolling out a more holistic approach to my sessions, my marriage rather suddenly fell apart (although with hindsight being a wonderful thing, it probably wasn’t as sudden as it appeared to me at the time). I had to abandon my business ideas and focus on me and what I needed from me at that time. MY OWN SELF-DISCOVERY My journey of self-discovery really took off in 2019 when I started reviewing and questioning every part of my life. A large part of this came in 2021 when I received an autism diagnosis and later in 2023 when I also received a diagnosis of ADHD. However, as much as these diagnoses answered many questions, sadly the support is not available for late diagnosed adults, so after the initial euphoria of ‘I’m not broken, I don’t need to be fixed’ feeling, came even more wrong paths and further self-discovery and personal development. In reality, I did need to be fixed. I needed to unpick most of my life that had eventually become a series of masking and coping strategies as a result of not understanding who I was for so many years. And once I had unpicked enough to get a sense of what I really did like and dislike, I had to work out how to move forward so that my life was made up of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that did work for me. This was really hard. I mean, beyond hard. It resulted in more crashes than I’d had before because I was constantly trying new things, realising they didn’t quite work for me and either unpicking the bits that did/didn’t work and moving forward again with a slightly different approach. To say this was exhausting was an understatement. LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL However, whilst life continued to evolve for me, I started feeling calmer and more sure of myself, what I wanted and, most importantly, no longer afraid to say ‘no, that doesn’t work for me’. One of these areas was my business. I find the social element of my in-person sessions really hard, so I had to limit the amount of sports massages I did. I developed some online run coaching courses to start sharing the knowledge I had without needing to physically speak to people. It still wasn’t giving me what I needed from my work. I knew I wanted to help people but I also knew I needed to find a way to do this without compromising my own health and wellbeing. And then I discovered that it wasn’t speaking to people that I found difficult per se, it was the nature of the conversations. Talking about my life, for example is exhausting for me – I really don’t like being centre of attention, even in a 121 conversation. HELPING OTHER PEOPLE Asking people questions about their lives, especially with the focus on helping them to discover what they want to do with an element of their life, was empowering. Regardless of how much I talked with them, if I was able to help them make a decision about something, I felt invigorated for the

5 reasons to use a password manager

May 2, 2024 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Life Coaching Mental Health Neurodivergence Office Management Run Coaching Sports Massage Virtual Assistance My response to: “So, what do you do?” How to set your own goals What makes me a good life coach 5 reasons to use a password manager There is no such thing as Blue Monday Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis How to set successful New Year resolutions 6 tips on staying hydrated Categories Life CoachingMental HealthNeurodivergenceOffice ManagementRun CoachingSports MassageVirtual Assistance Business Support Office Management CRM/Database Management Email Inbox Management Bookkeeping Event Support Website Management Email Automations Project Coordination Access Support Life Coaching General Life Coaching Transitional Life Coaching Exercise & Fitness Coaching Diet & Nutrition Coaching Run Coaching Business Coaching EV Sports Sports Massage Beginner Running Course Return to Running Course Fundamentals of Running Course Run Coaching Qualifications & CPD Business Management Diploma Anti-Money Laundering (AML) and Financial Crime Mentoring & Coaching Skills Psychology of Behaviour Change Life Coaching & Mindfulness Diploma Advanced Personal Training Diploma England Athletics Running Coach Gym Instruction Nutrition & Weight Management Nutrition for Sport & Exercise Circuit Training Pilates Fundamentals Pre and Post Natal Nutrition Pre and Post Natal Massage Sports & Remedial Massage Diploma 5 REASONS TO USE A PASSWORD MANAGER In today’s online world, keeping track of all our passwords can feel like trying to remember a hundred different keys. That’s where password managers come in. They’re like digital safe boxes for your passwords, making it easier to manage and protect them. With cyber threats everywhere, using a password manager is like putting a lock on your digital doors, keeping your accounts safe from hackers. In a world where I live so much of my personal and work life using online software and systems, using a password manager isn’t just a good idea – it’s essential for keeping my data secure. I can also create separate folders and vaults for my clients’ passwords too within the same password manager. 5 REASONS TO USE A PASSWORD MANAGER 1. You only need to remember one master password Just having to remember one password makes life a lot easier when you use a password manager. This one password unlocks access to all your other passwords stored safely in the manager. No more struggling to recall different passwords for different accounts. It’s like having a single key for all your digital locks, keeping things simple and secure. 2. Increased security Unlike storing passwords in your browser or writing them down in the back of a notebook, password managers offer an extra layer of protection. They use advanced techniques to secure your data, making it nearly impossible for hackers to crack. Plus, many password managers offer features like two-factor authentication and secure sharing, adding even more security to your accounts. 3. Helps stop the use of duplicate passwords Using the same password for different accounts might seem easy, but it’s risky. If one account is hacked, all your other accounts are at risk too. That’s why it’s important to use different passwords for each account. It’s like putting locks on different doors – if one lock is broken, the others stay secure. With a password manager, you don’t need to remember all your passwords, which makes it more convenient to choose a different one for each account. 4. It generates strong passwords for you Password managers can make strong and unique passwords for each of your accounts. Instead of struggling to think of them yourself, these tools create passwords with numbers, letters, and symbols that are hard for hackers to crack. By creating passwords that are difficult for hackers to guess, password managers add another layer to your online security. 5. Improved efficiency Of course, I couldn’t not mention efficiency. As password managers work on all your devices, like your computer, phone, or tablet, it removes the time needed to locate and type out lengthy passwords each time you log in somewhere. They keep your passwords synced so you can access them anywhere you need to. Whether you’re at home, in the office, or out and about, your passwords are safe and easy to find. They also come with an internet extension which can be added to your browser to easily log you into your desktop accounts. HOW TO CHOOSE A PASSWORD MANAGER There are a lot of different password managers out there, each with their own perks and features. I have listed a few that I am aware of and/or have used myself, but with so many options available, it can be hard to know which one is right for you, so it’s important to do you own research and choose one that works best for your needs. It’s also a good idea to research each one for reviews and any breaches. Some people are put off by data breaches and others take the view that they now have even more robust systems in place. Bitwarden This is the software that I use. One of the main attractions for me is that I can use it on more than one device on the free version. There is also the option to upgrade to an organisation and share passwords with other members of your team. LastPass This is another popular password manager. I used to use it, but switched to Bitwarden when LastPass removed the access across multiple devices on the free version. Keeper Keeper is a popular password manager with other Business Managers and Virtual Assistants, although I haven’t personally used this one myself. SUMMARY I hope this has been useful, but please remember that although password managers can greatly improve your online security, they’re not fool proof. Be careful when choosing one, and make sure to pick a trusted provider with strong security features. Keep your master password safe, as it’s the key to all your other passwords. It’s also a good idea to review your password manager regularly and use extra security measures like two-factor authentication. While password managers are helpful,

An autistic guide to educating others

February 23, 2023 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Life Coaching Mental Health Neurodivergence Office Management Run Coaching Sports Massage Transformational Coaching Transitional Coaching Virtual Assistance My response to: “So, what do you do?” How to set your own goals What makes me a good life coach 5 reasons to use a password manager An autistic guide to educating others There is no such thing as Blue Monday An autistic guide to overwhelm and burnout Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis How to set successful New Year resolutions Categories Office ManagementLife CoachingMental HealthNeurodivergenceRun CoachingSports MassageVirtual Assistance Business Support Office Management CRM/Database Management Email Inbox Management Bookkeeping Event Support Website Management Email Automations Project Coordination Access Support Life Coaching General Life Coaching Transitional Life Coaching Exercise & Fitness Coaching Diet & Nutrition Coaching Run Coaching Business Coaching EV Sports Sports Massage Beginner Running Course Return to Running Course Fundamentals of Running Course Run Coaching AN AUTISTIC GUIDE TO EDUCATING OTHERS Updated: April 17, 2025 Introduction This blog was first written in February 2023 when I was still in burnout, unable to work and I feeling extremely angry and frustrated about how I difficult I was finding it trying to navigate the world as a relatively newly diagnosed AuDHD person (autistic with ADHD). When I reviewed this blog in 2025 I thought about rewording it to remove some of that anger and frustration but decided instead to share the reality of what it feels like to be an understood AuDHD person and the unrealistic expectations put on neurodivergent people (and any minority group for that matter) to have to continually explain and justify who they are. Although I have now managed to move past the anger and frustration and focus on creating a life that does work for me, the facts of my original blog remain the same and are experienced by neurodivergent (and other minority groups) on a daily basis. This is still unacceptable and the rest of the world needs to start taking responsibility to educate themselves on these topics – as I mention in the blog itself, complete and accurate ‘formal’ research may not exist because so little has been done, but there is now an abundance of lived experiences and advocates from whom a lot can be learned. An autistic guide to educating others “Where’s your proof?” is unfortunately a comment I am seeing all too often on other people’s posts about their experiences, self diagnoses, and even clinical/formal diagnoses of autism and ADHD, especially in relation to late diagnosed women or people assigned female at birth (AFAB). If the people asking this incredibly invalidating question are after an x-ray to show which part of us is broken, or an MRI that identifies the area of our brain that is diseased, then they are in for a huge disappointment. Why will they be disappointed? Because: We’re not broken We’re not diseased Nobody has deemed us important enough to do (m)any studies on our experiences, so we are having to do our own research and understanding by communicating with others with similar experiences. Then, because some of us are highly empathetic people, and can’t bear the thought of other people going undiagnosed for so long without any support, we are sharing our experiences to highlight what autism and ADHD looks like in middle-aged women. We also share our struggles over the years to raise awareness to other adults who are parents, employers, healthcare providers, or anyone who cares enough about other people to take an interest, so they may recognise if someone they know may be presenting any similar signs of autism and ADHD. For some people, though, this explanation will not (ever) be enough. How it feels to have to keep validating yourself It isn’t exhausting enough to have been told you’re not good enough for 40+ years and to have your thoughts and behaviours questioned. Every. Single. Day. that you hit complete burnout before anyone even starts paying attention, let alone offering any support. Support which then fades away when they’re happy you’re no longer suicidal and can release that from their conscience. It’s not debilitating enough to then have early peri/menopause thrown into the mix and ignored for several years because we’re ‘too young’ (for which, in case you’re wondering, there aren’t any studies (or proof as you may want to call it) on how peri/menopause presents early in neurodivergent women because there aren’t even (m)any studies on middle-aged ND women, let alone peri/menopausal ones!). It’s not enough for us to have all these years of lived experience, combined with years of research (by which I mean communicating with other ND people in the ND community) and possibly a couple of formal diagnoses, if we’re lucky to either live somewhere (ie the UK) where this is accessible after being on a waiting list for 3-4 years (whilst being completely ignored and unsupported during this wait). We are then expected to provide ‘proof’ that we’re not making all this up and somehow attempt to educate others who didn’t believe us in the first place! It is unfair to expect us to keep educating others So, even though I spent more than four decades battling through life, being ostracised by friends, family, work colleagues and society in general, of which two of these years were spent heavily researching my own diagnoses so I could go to my GP and demand an autism and ADHD referral and HRT to even stand a chance of regaining a level with other people who have not had any of these struggles, I am still expected to provide resources and ‘proof’ to help people better understand me. And I’m then accused of not making enough effort to get on with people (this is beyond so much belief that I fear an exclamation mark would deem it sarcasm). I ask you – at which point will you deem me important enough to do your own research and let me know how you can include

There is no such thing as Blue Monday

January 17, 2022 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Life Coaching Mental Health Neurodivergence Office Management Run Coaching Sports Massage Virtual Assistance My response to: “So, what do you do?” How to set your own goals What makes me a good life coach 5 reasons to use a password manager There is no such thing as Blue Monday Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis How to set successful New Year resolutions 6 tips on staying hydrated Categories Life CoachingMental HealthNeurodivergenceOffice ManagementRun CoachingSports MassageVirtual Assistance Business Support Office Management CRM/Database Management Email Inbox Management Bookkeeping Event Support Website Management Email Automations Project Coordination Access Support Life Coaching General Life Coaching Transitional Life Coaching Exercise & Fitness Coaching Diet & Nutrition Coaching Run Coaching Business Coaching EV Sports Sports Massage Beginner Running Course Return to Running Course Fundamentals of Running Course Run Coaching Qualifications & CPD Business Management Diploma Anti-Money Laundering (AML) and Financial Crime Mentoring & Coaching Skills Psychology of Behaviour Change Life Coaching & Mindfulness Diploma Advanced Personal Training Diploma England Athletics Running Coach Gym Instruction Nutrition & Weight Management Nutrition for Sport & Exercise Circuit Training Pilates Fundamentals Pre and Post Natal Nutrition Pre and Post Natal Massage Sports & Remedial Massage Diploma THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BLUE MONDAY Blue Monday has been branded about for the last decade as the most depressing day on the year. As someone who has battled depression throughout their life, I think it would be wonderful if I could choose on which day I wanted to be depressed. But it doesn’t work like that. It never has and never will. Blue Monday was developed as a PR strategy in 2004 to sell holidays at a time when a lot of people were feeling low after Christmas and wanted something to look forward to. If only a holiday was all it took to beat depression. As someone who doesn’t like December, I am personally quite high spirited in January – all the Christmas fuss has gone and I can return to ‘my normal’ without overwhelm or expectation upon me. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? I mean, really feeling? Regardless of what day it is, it is always a good time to reflect on how you are feeling. There is a lot of encouragement to reach out if you are having a tough time. And I agree with this, if you have the self awareness, foresight and energy to do so. But, sometimes, even reaching out to someone is too much to cope with. It involves energy that isn’t available, requires words that can’t be retrieved and results in another conversation to maintain. However, spending time with your thoughts and feelings is something you can do without having to communicate with anyone else. Taking even 10 minutes to sit quietly, focusing on your breathing and allowing any thoughts to pass through your mind, is a really simple yet powerful way of recognising how you are feeling in that moment. It may also provide you with some insight on what your mind and/or body needs to do next. Do you need to carry on sitting peacefully, go for a short walk, or maybe it has helped you remember something you meant to do earlier in the day. Sometimes, giving ourselves this time also helps us work out how to proceed with something that has been worrying or concerning us for a while. HOW TO REACH OUT WITHOUT MAKING CONVERSATION If these moments of reflection are still leaving you feel unsettled, then you may need to find some answers from outside of your own mind. At times when I have needed support but unable to reach out to anyone directly, I have found following relevant hashtags on social media invaluable (Instagram works best for me) because I can then surround myself with like-minded people without having to say a word. I can feel like I’m not alone whilst being left alone and, more often than not, they really do know how I feel and what I’m going through more than anyone who personally knows me. I am not saying that people who personally know me don’t care or won’t be there for me if I need them, because they will. They have been. And I will always value and treasure that. But even talking or explaining things to those closest to me can be too much, which is when social media really can be a positive and useful tool. So, whilst social media can have a negative effect on our mental health, it can also quite literally be a life saver to so many people who need to not feel alone while being left alone. WHEN TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP Mental health challenges can often creep up unnoticed, and recognising the warning signs is the first step to taking care of yourself or supporting someone else. Below are some common signs of depression and anxiety, how they might appear in daily life, when to be concerned, and some practical tips to help address them. This is such a personal topic and everyone’s point of asking for help will be different, depending on the support you have around you, the awareness you have of how you’re feeling, and experience you have of managing your own mental health. However, these are some of the signs that tell me things are not as they should be: DOOM SCROLLING WITH NO POSITIVE EFFECT Most people with a social media account will find themselves ‘doom scrolling’ at some point. Mindlessly scrolling through posts or videos can be a way for some people to switch off, but that needs to be managed. There are different apps and phone settings that help control and limit the amount of time spent on our phones and in particular apps that can become unhelpful and time wasting. Tips to help: Set app usage limits using apps or phone settings Create phone routines to restrict use of certain apps at certain times of the day Give yourself

An autistic guide to overwhelm and burnout

November 28, 2021 Emma Shergold AN AUTISTIC GUIDE TO OVERWHELM AND BURNOUT Reviwed and updated: October 15, 2025 Five days after I received my autism diagnosis I was exhausted. I was still delighted by the diagnosis, but as the days went on, I became more and more tired. I was no a stranger to this feeling and I knew what I needed to do to improve my energy levels, but it really sucked that I felt this way because of something amazing. In fact, after any one of these occasions: A very sad occasion, such as a family funeral A very happy occasion, such as a family wedding A fun day out for my birthday; or Receiving a diagnosis that allowed 42 years of stress, anxiety and tension to leave my body I feel exhausted a few days later while my body catches up with and processes all the emotions. With autistic exhaustion, it is overthinking and an overload of emotions and/or activities that contributes to the overwhelm that can eventually lead to complete autistic burnout if not addressed. When I was previously told I had depression and anxiety (a mental health disorder), it was the same overthinking that caused the anxiety attacks and eventually bouts of depression. I was advised that best way to address this was to practice a different way of thinking (CBT) and to remain active. However, these processes and activities just made things worse for me. The more I tried to think about things differently and try not to stop completely, the more I was inadvertently compounding my then undiagnosed autism. Whilst anxiety is something that remains with me, I now recognise it is a symptom of being autistic, especially in certain situations. Being autistic is a way of being rather than a disorder, so cannot be treated or made better. And nor do I want to be made ‘better’ or be any other way. I love the way I see the world and find joy in the most simple things. I would never want to change that, but occasionally I do need to manage it to survive. What an autism diagnosis means for me Although my official autism diagnosis was very new, I had been self-diagnosed for about 6 months and been considering it on and off for the previous three years. In that time, I had done a LOT of research on autism in adults and, in particular, how it presents in women (mainly because I am an adult woman). This research enabled me to understand myself better and start making small changes to my lifestyle to better suit my needs. One of these changes was to start understanding the difference between autistic burnout and a mental health breakdown. The latter I thought I had been experiencing (and was being treated for) and the former was actually what had happened. My autistic burnouts had been caused by an accumulation of exhaustion and overwhelm that I had been trying to push through. And in some ways I am relieved that it is ‘just’ overwhelm because I now know how best to manage this. How I manage overwhelm to help avoid burnout Effectively, I have to do the opposite of what I had been told to do for a mental health disorder. A disorder that can be treated, made better and, often, overcome entirely. When I am overwhelmed and/or exhausted, I have to stop completely and allow my body time to recover from whatever has happened. And the sooner I can recognise this and put measures in place, the quicker I can recover and, most importantly, avoid spiralling towards a complete burnout again. You could think of this overwhelm as a mini burnout that ‘only’ lasts for a few days to a week, rather than months or even years. What was once decribed as ‘coping strategies’, I now prefer to call ‘regulation techniques’ – I mean, I am (thankfully) no longer trying to cope with life, I am getting my life back and managing the things that happen along the way. In any case, my process is the same: Remove anything that is not absolutely necessary from my day For me, this is any social commitments, which are extremely minimal anyway and only with people who know I may cancel at the last minute I will reduce my level of exercise, if I even have the energy to do any at all As I am self employed, I class work as necessary, but I will cancel or reschedule this if I really don’t think I can manage it I do usually shower every day, but this might be the only thing I do that day I rarely get dressed into regular clothes unless I have to go out, so pyjamas or lounge pants are standard, but more so during a state of overwhelm or exhaustion. Be strict with my bedtime I make sure I start getting ready for bed at 8.30pm This is what I like to do anyway, but the better I start feeling, the later my bedtime gets Allowing my bedtime to slip is probably how the overwhelm starts building, so is something I incorporate into my management plan. Prioritise things that make me feel good (in this order) For me, not getting at least 9 hours of sleep every night negatively affects every other part of my life, so this is my number one priority in any period of burnout or overwhelm I also love my food. And by that I literally mean MY food. I eat the same foods most days and weeks because I know what I like, I enjoy eating it, and it makes shopping very easy My diet is also relatively healthy and accommodates my dietary needs so it helps nourish me, which is what helps me feel good I avoid social media. I am very selective over what platforms I use anyway, but in any form of burnout or overwhelm, I don’t need to see how

Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis

November 25, 2021 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Life Coaching Mental Health Neurodivergence Office Management Run Coaching Sports Massage Transformational Coaching Transitional Coaching Virtual Assistance My response to: “So, what do you do?” How to set your own goals What makes me a good life coach 5 reasons to use a password manager An autistic guide to educating others There is no such thing as Blue Monday An autistic guide to overwhelm and burnout Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis How to set successful New Year resolutions Categories Office ManagementLife CoachingMental HealthNeurodivergenceRun CoachingSports MassageVirtual Assistance Business Support Office Management CRM/Database Management Email Inbox Management Bookkeeping Event Support Website Management Email Automations Project Coordination Access Support Life Coaching General Life Coaching Transitional Life Coaching Exercise & Fitness Coaching Diet & Nutrition Coaching Run Coaching Business Coaching EV Sports Sports Massage Beginner Running Course Return to Running Course Fundamentals of Running Course Run Coaching RECEIVING A MIDDLE-AGED AUTISM DIAGNOSIS For more than 30 years, I felt that I didn’t fit in, was told to try harder and struggled with worsening mental health difficulties. And then, at the age of 42, I finally received an official diagnosis. I wasn’t not broken, I didn’t need to be fixed, I AM AUTISTIC! The psychiatrist who did my assessment was brilliant and she concluded there is no doubt that I am autistic. Both of my parents were there too, so at the end of the assessment, the psychiatrist asked if we wanted to know what autism meant in different areas of development, what I would have found so difficult in certain aspects of my life, and why it has been left undiagnosed for so long. Although I had done a lot of research over the 18 months prior to my assessment, I suggested it was explained it for my parents’ benefit and to save me having to say it all to them myself. After all the heartache and battle to get to this point, I can 100% say it was worth it as the relief of hearing someone else saying it all was immense. The more the psychiatrist explained what I had struggled with my whole adult life and how it had impacted me, the more I felt validated that I hadn’t been making it all up! I was not broken, I didn’t need to be fixed – I am autistic! It was like 40 years of worry, stress, and anxiety had been lifted off my shoulders in the form of great big sobs! I couldn’t stop crying! I hear people talk about when they go on holiday and switch off from everything at home. Holidays are stressful for me so I’ve never really had that feeling, but imagine it would be something like this, just somewhere warmer. My brain felt empty for the first time that I can remember as I finally let go of everything that didn’t make sense. The psychiatrist wrote to my GP and let them know the diagnosis and to also ask them to refer me for an ADHD assessment as she thought there were signs of that too. My GP could apparently advise me of the support that is available to me in our area, but I’m not holding out much hope given how incompetent and unsympathetic they have been so far, so Autism Hampshire and The National Autistic Society will probably be better places to go. Although there isn’t a treatment for autism, the relief was probably the best ‘medicine’ I could have had. The relief was so unexpected and I understood when others have said that a diagnosis doesn’t change anything, but changes everything. I never wanted the diagnosis to use as an excuse for things, but I feel so empowered to use it as a reason now. A reason why I love being alone, a reason why I don’t want to go to that party, a reason why I am who I am. I’m not broken and I don’t need to be fixed, I’m just me! LEARN MORE ABOUT ADULT AUTISM If you would like to learn more about autism, and particularly how it presents in women and girls (which can be very different to boys), I would highly recommend the following resources: Girls and Women and Autism: What’s the difference, by Sarah Hendrickx Aspergirls, by Rudy Simone (available in paperback and audiobook) Following hashtags on Instagram, such as #ActuallyAutistic #AutisticAdult #AutismAwareness and #AutismCommunity. Most of these are also on other social media platforms. Following accounts on Instagram, such as @embrace.autism (with research-based information) @autistic_at-40, @livedexperienceeducator, @jesdiverges, @autistic_therapist, and @squarepeg.community (which is also a great podcast) SUMMARY Whether you are exploring the possibility that you are autistic yourself, would like to support someone else, or are interested in understanding a bit more about this process, it’s important to remember that obtaining a clinical diagnosis is not possible or wanted by everyone. In an ideal world, no-one would need to have a diagnosis in order to be heard by all the people who have denied support. But, sadly, this is still the reality for many late and un-diagnosed autistic adults. The process is difficult because you have to expose everything you find difficult in your life and share all the things you have struggled with before this point. And the waiting list for a non-private assessment is several years in the UK. Some people are able to self-identify as autistic, but for others the ‘formal’ diagnosis is required to obtain the support they desperately need. DO YOU NEED SOME SUPPORT WITH EXPLORING YOUR NEURODIVERGENCE? Whether you are exploring the idea that you might be autistic and/or ADHD, have received a diagnosis and don’t know what to do next, or would like some support to unmask in different areas of your life, I will provide a compassionate and empathetic space for you to discover who you really are. The first step is to book a free discovery call. This is a Teams video chat where we’ll get to

How to set successful New Year resolutions

September 1, 2013 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts AuDHD Lifestyle Coaching Mental Health Neurodivergence Office Management Run Coaching Sports Massage Transformational Coaching Transitional Coaching Virtual Assistance My response to: “So, what do you do?” How to set your own goals What makes me a good life coach 5 reasons to use a password manager An autistic guide to educating others There is no such thing as Blue Monday An autistic guide to overwhelm and burnout Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis How to set successful New Year resolutions Categories AuDHD Lifestyle CoachingMental HealthNeurodivergenceOffice ManagementRun CoachingSports MassageVirtual Assistance HOW TO SET SUCCESSFUL NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS We all know that Christmas is less than 4 months away. Some people may have already had at least one conversation this year about where you are going to spend Christmas Day and Boxing Day. You may even have started planning what presents to get for people. But have you thought about how to set a successful New Year Resolution yet? In exactly 4 months today, we will all be waking up to a brand new year and about half of us will be setting a New Year’s Resolution – the most common are health and fitness related like losing weight, joining a gym and stopping smoking, but whatever it is, less than 10% of us actually keep them. There are many reasons that people aren’t able to follow through with their resolutions, including poor planning, unrealistic goals, no motivation and lack of money. But in my experience, the most common reason is because we have made the wrong resolution at the wrong time for us to fully commit to it. WHY SET A RESOLUTION Personally, I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I have become so in tune with my needs over the last few years, that if I feel something needs to change, then I do it whenever that need arises. In some ways I’m in awe of people who can choose a resolution at new year and stick to it as it’s not something I’ve ever been able to do! But, in all honesty, it doesn’t matter when you want to make changes in your life. The important bit is that they are the right changes for you, for the right reasons and that you have the support you need to make these changes realistic and sustainable. It, therefore, doesn’t need to be a new year resolution, but it does need to be a goal that is meaningful to you in a way that not achieving it makes you feel worse than carrying on as you are. WHEN IS A GOOD TIME TO SET RESOLUTIONS If you are someone who enjoys the challenge of a new year’s resolution, but haven’t been able to fully commit to and achieve one in the past, it may be because you haven’t spent enough time considering the changes you would like to make. So, instead of waiting until the 1st of January – why not start thinking about it now? What would you like to change about your life? What would you be really proud of having achieved this time next year? For example, if your goal is to be able to walk/run 5km then getting outside while the evenings and weekends are warmer and lighter will help you cope with the colder, darker months because your body is already used to the exercise. Then, by the time you come to setting a new year’s resolution, you are already half way there, or may even be in a position to be a bit more adventurous! You will be more aware of how your body and mind responds to new challenges so you will be in a much better position to choose a realistic resolution that you can sensibly work towards. HOW TO SET SUCCESSFUL NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS MAKE THE RIGHT CHANGES FOR THE RIGHT REASONS Ask yourself why you want to make the change you want to set yourself. Thinking you should and someone else telling you to make certain changes all need to be addressed/processed, but are they the right reasons for you want to make this change? For example, comparing yourself to other people which makes you think you should change in some way. Who has told you to make this change – friends/family/society, or a healthcare professional? Do you agree with them? Even if you do agree with them, is this change something you are ready to embark on right now? If not, then it may not be the right time to set yourself this challenge. CHOOSE SOMETHING MEANINGFUL TO YOU Choose something meaningful and that holds some form of emotional attachment when you think either about what you don’t like now, or how you’ll feel when you achieve your goal. I’m not a huge fan of SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-based) goals because I don’t think they take into account our feelings. I also don’t think that it’s feasible for everyone to know how long it will take to achieve a certain goal to be able to put a timeframe on it. Feeling a certain way about a goal, in my opinion, is a very valid way (if not more so) of knowing you have achieved what you set out to do. By all means, add something more tangible to the ‘specific’ and ‘smart’ parts of your goal setting if that works for you, but if you don’t know what that will be, and you only know how you want to feel, then go with that. As your goal progresses, you may find that it’s easier to visualise more typically tangible targets, as well as when you think you will reach your end goal. I honestly don’t believe that SMART goals are realistic in every situation, especially if you’ve never done something before and have no idea what you are capable of achieving, so go with what works for you.  MAKE A PLAN This is the bit that most people

6 tips on staying hydrated

July 7, 2013 Emma Shergold Recent Posts All Posts Life Coaching Mental Health Neurodivergence Office Management Run Coaching Sports Massage Virtual Assistance My response to: “So, what do you do?” How to set your own goals What makes me a good life coach 5 reasons to use a password manager There is no such thing as Blue Monday Receiving a middle-aged autism diagnosis How to set successful New Year resolutions 6 tips on staying hydrated Categories Life CoachingMental HealthNeurodivergenceOffice ManagementRun CoachingSports MassageVirtual Assistance Business Support Office Management CRM/Database Management Email Inbox Management Bookkeeping Event Support Website Management Email Automations Project Coordination Access Support Life Coaching General Life Coaching Transitional Life Coaching Exercise & Fitness Coaching Diet & Nutrition Coaching Run Coaching Business Coaching EV Sports Sports Massage Beginner Running Course Return to Running Course Fundamentals of Running Course Run Coaching Qualifications & CPD Business Management Diploma Anti-Money Laundering (AML) and Financial Crime Mentoring & Coaching Skills Psychology of Behaviour Change Life Coaching & Mindfulness Diploma Advanced Personal Training Diploma England Athletics Running Coach Gym Instruction Nutrition & Weight Management Nutrition for Sport & Exercise Circuit Training Pilates Fundamentals Pre and Post Natal Nutrition Pre and Post Natal Massage Sports & Remedial Massage Diploma 6 TIPS ON STAYING HYDRATED I am sure you have heard that it is important to not become dehydrated, but has anyone told you why? Or how to help ensure you take on enough fluids? You require water for pretty much every bodily function, including your cardio/respiratory system, digestion, concentration and muscle contraction. Your body will distribute your water intake as evenly as possible but if there is not enough your body will struggle to function effectively and some of the following symptoms may be indicators of dehydration: Feeling tired Headaches Dizziness Muscle Stiffness/cramps Irritability Increased anxiety Although, for some people, thirst can be a good indication that you need a drink, for others it could already be a sign of dehydration. Below are a few tips on how you can keep your fluid levels up. 6 TIPS ON STAYING HYDRATED DRINK A GLASS OF WATER WHEN YOU WAKE UP By taking a glass of water to bed with you, you can achieve two things before you even get up: You will kick-start your fluid quota for the day with up to 500ml already in the bag! The fluid will also help wake you up and shift some of the early morning grogginess Depending on your morning routine, you could split this into two drinks: One when you first wake up, before you get out of bed The second after you have had a shower/got dressed, before you have breakfast/leave the house Whatever routine you create for yourself, this tip will have you drinking up to a quarter of your daily fluid requirement without too much effort. KEEP A DRINK WITH YOU THROUGHOUT THE DAY Whether you spend most of your day at home, in a workplace or other establishment, or travelling around, having a drink with you at all times can help keep those fluid levels topped up. Here are some ideas: Have a glass of water on your desk with you Use a water bottle if this is easier to carry around Keep a separate bottle in a bag or vehicle if you travel throughout the day FIND FLAVOURS YOU LIKE DRINKING Whilst the ‘best’ thing to drink might be plain water, if you find yourself not drinking much because water is too bland, or you don’t like the taste, then here are some ideas to provide some flavouring: Fruit teas Cold infuse bags that can be left in a bottle/glass all day Cold water with fresh fruit, e.g. strawberries and limes Hot water with fresh ginger, lemon or mint Squash Although I personally use squash for convenience, it’s worth pointing out that some squashes and infuse bags contain other ingredients that you may want to check or limit, depending on your preferences and beliefs. Overall, I do believe that I am doing more good by having a bit of flavour in my water so that I am able to drink at least two litres of fluid a day, rather than ending up dehydrated by trying to force (and subsequently avoiding) plain water. LIMIT YOUR CAFFEINE INTAKE Although more recent studies have shown that you’d need to drink about five cups of strong coffee in one go for it to have a diuretic effect, drinking too much caffeine throughout the day can have other effects on your health. If you are drinking more than 3-4 cups of caffeinated drinks per day, then here are some tips to reducing your intake: Reduce by one cup a day per week. I.e. each week, reduce your caffeinated drinks by one cup per day, so that within four weeks, you’ll be drinking four less cups a day than you wereSubstitute for decaffeinated tea and coffeeAlternate your drinks by having a non-caffeinated drink in between every caffeinated one How you reduce your caffeine intake is up to you, but please be aware of common side effects of stopping large amounts of caffeine ‘cold turkey’, such as: Headaches Fatigue Irritability Anxiety Tremors Difficulty concentrating Depressed mood Muscle pain Ironically, these are similar to not drinking enough fluids in the first place, so it is important to work on consuming the right amount of the right fluids. EAT FRESH FRUIT Eating fresh fruit, particularly strawberries, kiwis and oranges that naturally contain high amounts of water, helps to increase your fluid consumption, and also counts towards your five portions of fruit and veg – win-win! If you’re not keen on eating individual portions, creating smoothies from 2-3 pieces of your favourite fruit and/or vegetables is a good way to get your fluid and nutrient quota. This is one that I make sometimes, especially if I’m feeling a bit unwell and/or tired: Handful of blueberries (I use frozen) 1 orange cut into quarters and peeled 2 fingers/rings of pineapple (I use tinned) 1/2